nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off
17-year-olds:When I have a job I'm gonna have my own apartment and I'm gonna gets lots of tattoos and piercings and I'm gonna go to lots of concerts and oh yeah I'm gonna go backpacking across Europe!!
20-somethings:Hey can I borrow a dollar so I can buy some more dollar store macaroni and cheese
i really want an “i accidentally broke into your house/apartment because my friend lives next door to you and i was in the area, drunk, and i thought i was climbing into the right window and falling asleep on the right couch (and i did wonder when my friend got two cats but i didn’t question it) so now i’m hungover and shirtless in your living room so um hi howya doin” au