Anonym sent:
YOU FORGOT ALTAIRS BIRTHDAY !!! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF >:(

askstumpy:

Happy 849th Birthday, you stupid ol’ fart-Novice.

LET’S HAVE A CELEBRATORY BIRTHDAY SWIM, SHALL WE?

askstumpy:

Coo, Coo, Mother Fu-
askstumpy:

I heard Leonardo da Vinci has a Flying Machine, and a silver Lexus.
askstumpy:

What is this, the Cathouse?
[ For all you young folks, that’s a porn joke ]
askstumpy:

I must insist that these aspersions about my brother stop. 
askstumpy:

1. Altair, when drowned, makes a wonderful floatation device!2. Ezio won’t shut his damn mouth about he amount of girls he’s done. 3… . he was fat … and delicious.4. ALEX FLIES, WE’RE GETTING OUT OF HERE. But we both ate Desmond, regardless.
ask-machiavelli:

Not only did he eat my Agnolo, he’s always shitting on my floor. Look at that face. Evil. Plotting no good.
askstumpy:

Oh, hello, Maria.
askstumpy:

DON’T PLUCK HIS TAIL FEATHERS. GET AWAY. ALL OF YOU. SHOO!
askstumpy:

NO, ALTAIR. PILLOWS. PILLOWS.